Ficcy fic fic.
Title: Winnie the Pooh and Riku, Too
Series: Kingdom Hearts (the first)
Summary: In which Riku is sent to the 100-Acre Wood for a reconnaissance mission and gets a bit sidetracked.
Riku was willing to do a lot of things for his friends; much as he didn't act like it at times. The only thing was, his "end justifies the means" attitude sometimes...spoiled a generous act. Examples of such lay in any one of the many childhood incidents in which Riku displayed his medical knowledge by graciously curing Sora of hiccups.
(Sora eventually developed a nervous twitch whenever paper bags were in the vicinity, but Doctor Riku explained such away as "side effects of my miracle cures." Nurse Kairi was...less convinced.)
Desperation led Riku into the clutches of darkness, and the prospect of the ends justifying the means let him keep his conscience at bay. He'd done some terrible missions already; kidnapping and stealing hearts and commanding legions of soulless, mindless things.
This mission, however...
"You've got to be kidding me," Riku monotoned, glaring at a butterfly that flittered by.
Maleficent's voice chuckled in his mind's ear. "A keyhole is a keyhole, my dear boy. We must take them all if you are to reawaken your dear friend Kairi."
Riku scrubbed at his eyes, growling. The pastel colors were blindingly, saccharinely overwhelmingly there.
"I don't sense any princesses here, so why should this world matter?" he shot back. "It's a waste of our resources."
A tragic sigh. "Well, I suppose you're right...I merely thought that since the keybearer showed interest in this world, it might prove to hold some hidden, secret source of power."
Riku's eyes narrowed. "...Sora's been here?"
"Oh, yes, our spies have seen him visit quite often. And the wizard seems very intent on protecting the book, too...it took a great deal of magic to slip past his defenses and get you into the book. But no matter, no matter. Resources are a horrible thing to waste, after all..."
Riku stormed off into the wood; a man on a mission. Maleficent chuckled.
Sora was here, Sora was getting ahead of him, Sora was getting stronger, Sora wouldn't need him anymore, Sora was here...Riku's internal monologue kept his resolve strong as fat little honeybees buzzed by and fluffy creatures romped along the forest path. He couldn't help but give a weak shudder, however.
"Stupid--fucking--Sora--" growled Riku. He promptly tripped over a log and tumbled headlong into a sunlit meadow.
"Why, hullo there!" greeted a jolly voice. "I've certainly been getting many Somebodys in my meadow, lately."
Riku groaned and looked up. A fat bear wearing a red shirt perched on a log, beaming at Riku with a sunny and vacant smile. Riku was forcibly reminded of Sora, and he didn't quite know why.
"..." Riku said, and got up to dust himself off. The bear continued smiling, undaunted.
"Are you, perhaps, a good balloon-launcher?" asked he. "Sora is a good balloon-launcher, but I cannot find him anywhere and my tumbly is getting rather rumbly--"
"Sora?" Riku demanded, stalking up to the bear.
"Pooh Bear," Pooh introduced himself, happily. "You're Sora, as well? That will be very confusing when I'm thinking about the balloon-launchers I know..."
Riku rolled his eyes. Now he knew why he was reminded of Sora.
"...look. I'll hold your balloon or whatever if you do me a favor, too."
Pooh beamed. "Well, I do very much like doing things for my friends. And if Sora is a friend, why, Sora should also be a friend!"
"Great, whatever." Riku crossed his arms. "First, tell me: when was the last time Sora was here?"
Pooh chuckled. "Why, that's a silly question. You're here right now!"
"Alright, I'm Riku, okay?"
"Pooh Bear!" Pooh introduced himself. "Pleased to meet you for the second time, Riku Sora!"
Riku grit his teeth and blazed onward. "When was the last time Sora--just Sora!--was here?"
Pooh pondered this for a moment, one paw tapping against his temple. A moment of eureka dawned, and Pooh declared:
"Why, that would be right now! You certainly ask quite a lot of questions, Riku Sora."
Riku growled and kicked at the meadow grass. "I'm not Sora, alright?! I'm Riku, who is wondering when Sora came here last!"
Pooh furrowed his brow in deep thought. "Riku Sora isn't Sora anymore? I suppose that might mean that Pooh Bear isn't Pooh anymore. Oh, but then what would my name be? It's all too confusing on an empty belly."
Riku fisted strands of his bangs in his fingers, sighing angrily. "If I get you food, will you cooperate?"
"Why, food sounds like a lovely idea! And a delicious one, too." Pooh hopped down from the log to shove a pudgy paw into Riku's hand, and began to waddle in the direction of the woods. "I'll show Riku Sora-who-isn't-Sora where Pooh-who-isn't-Pooh Bear's favorite hunny tree is."
"Waaaggh," Riku groaned in anguish.
One hunny tree visit, several dozen beestings, countless falls, and one very bruised backside later...
"..." Riku gaped mutely at Pooh, who seemed to be attempting to consume the honey through osmosis.
"Mmmnyumnum..." Pooh inserted his head into the honey pot. "My stomach and I thank you very much, Riku Sora-who-isn't-Sora. Nothing helps me think more than a fresh pot of delicious hunny..."
"...right. Can you finally tell me when the last time Sora came here was?"
Pooh made a thoughtful noise, muffled slightly by the pot. A paw came to tap ponderously on its surface.
"...bother. All the excitement of playing with Riku Sora-who-isn't-Sora made me forget where I last saw Sora-who-is-Sora."
Riku set his head in his hands and groaned in anguish. Pooh patted his shoulder comfortingly.
"Don't worry so, Riku Sora-who-isn't-Sora. We can simply ask Sora-who-is-Sora the last time he came here when he stops by today."
Riku's eye twitched. "...what."
"Hullo, Sora!" greeted Pooh as a familiar jangling of chains and squeaking of shoes announced Sora's entrance. "Riku Sora-who-isn't-Sora and I would like to know when you came here last."
Sora blinked as his eyes drifted from Pooh to his friend. "Riku? You coulda just asked me if you wanted to know..."
Riku ran off screaming. Something seemed to dawn on Sora as Riku dashed into the horizon.
"Wait! Riku! I'm supposed to be looking for you!"
With no response aside from the dustcloud left in the boy's wake, Sora scratched at his head.
"Aww, well, I guess I'll run into him again eventually."
Pooh nodded in agreement, the pot knocking around on his head. "I'm sure Riku Sora-who-isn't-Sora will come back and visit again soon. Would you like a smackeral of hunny, Sora-who-is-Sora?"
Sora grinned broadly. "Sure, sounds great!" He scooped up a pot and inserted his head. "My tumbly was getting a little rumbly."
I desire KH2 with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. However, I do not have $80 to blow. Such money is much better spent on a) bunny supplies, b) school stuff, and/or c) Cadbury eggs. ("Pengie, how could you possibly eat eighty dollars' worth of Cadbury eggs?" YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER.)
Well, I'm back at school. It's back to getting four hours of sleep a night and slowly going insane from stress, YAYZ OMG!