Pengie. (pengiesama) wrote,
  • Mood: bored
  • Music: Close Up ~ Frou Frou

Blaaaerrgh.

So bored. Random fic!

Title: Bonkies
Series: Kingdom Hearts II
Characters: DiZ, Riku, Roxas; with special guest Trogdor Axel!
Spoilers: Oh hells yes.
Summary: Explaining just what happened between Riku and Roxas' fight and Roxas' transport to Twilight Town.


It was a dark and stormy night, and one DiZ sat at the study window in the mansion mulling over a sea-salt ice cream. The door banged open on a clap of lightening, and a rain-soaked hulk of a figure stumbled in. A huddled bundle, dwarfed by the other's form, lay limp in his arms. DiZ rose from his chair, a popsicle stick dangling from his mouth dumbly. His eyes narrowed.

"...who are you? How did you find this place?"

The figure breathed heavily for several moments before settling on a response: he carefully laid the bundle in his arms on the ground--it resolved itself into a small, black-trenchcoat-clad boy. Wordlessly, the delivery man drew back the cloak covering the boy's face. DiZ gaped mutely.

"...how on earth did you--"

"Handle Roxas first." The words were spoken as if the speaker was stunned at the sound of his own voice. "...questions later."

DiZ closed his mouth and nodded, solemnly. The boy would not remain unconscious for long.

"To the laboratory."

--

"--where am I? Who are you?! I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON--"

Roxas was abruptly silenced by the blunt edge of a keyblade meeting the back of his head. His eyes widened for a brief moment, then very slowly rolled beneath his eyelids. The keyblade disappeared into its summoner's hand, and said summoner--whose name, unbeknownst to DiZ but knownst to us, was truly Riku--glared at DiZ under the lip of his hood.

"That was the third time I've had to knock him back unconscious since we got down here," said Riku, in an irritated tone that was not his own. "Are you done getting through the security yet?"

DiZ tapped at the seventh security door's keyboard regally. "True security takes time. Now, what was that password again..."

"Could it be 'sea salt ice cream,' just like the last six passwords?" Riku bit back, impatient.

DiZ stiffened. He typed in said password and bustled through the door hastily, muttering something about his "genius system being exposed." Riku grumbled, nearly jumping at the lowness of his voice, and scooped up Roxas once more. The boy stirred in his arms, then started awake.

"--who are I? Where am you?! I'LL--"

Riku caught Roxas' head on the side of the doorframe, knocking the boy unconscious once more. He tried not to think about the effect all this head trauma would have on Sora, who really wasn't all that bright to begin with.

DiZ peered over his shoulder suspiciously, tapping out yet another security door's password. "I suppose you think you think this one is 'sea salt ice cream,' too."

Riku stared back evenly. "Is it?"

DiZ stomped through the door, grumbling. Riku had a remarkably similar reaction when they reached on the ninth security door yet. DiZ picked up a small microphone and smiled smugly.

"Being that this door is activated only by the sound of my voice, I'll have to ask you to be utterly silent. Ahem. WHO'S THE LEADER OF THE CLUB THAT'S MADE FOR YOU AND MEEEEE..." DiZ began to belt, off-key.

Roxas winced at the cacophony, awakening with a groan. He blinked blearily at Riku.

"--who--" he began.

"Do you want to see Sora?" Riku asked, voice quiet and low.

Roxas blinked again, trying to clear his head. "...yes..."

"So do I." Riku struck Roxas unconscious again with a quick thwack against the wall. "Sorry."

"M-O-U-S-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The door slid open, and canned applause dutifully sounded from the security panel. DiZ glided through the door regally, and Riku was relieved to be at the end of the doors. The alligator pit, however, seemed to be a new addition since the time he had left to fight Roxas. DiZ easily caught a vine dangling from the ceiling. Riku rose a critical eyebrow, which was concealed entirely by his hood.

"How are you going to vine-swing with a skirt on?" Riku asked.

DiZ prickled. "It is a cloak, I'll have you know."

"And a very lovely cloak it is." Axel lounged against the doorframe, his hood carelessly about his shoulders. "I'll be taking the shorty back now, if you don't mind."

DiZ huffed angrily. "How did one such as you bypass the security?!"

"You left the doors open, genius."

"For the love of..." Riku groaned.

DiZ sniffed, glaring at Axel like a particularly rare and repugnant specimen. "What's the name they've given you, Nobody?"

Axel showed his teeth in what could be construed as a grin. "Ah-hah, sorry for not introducing myself..." He flung up his arms overdramatically. "I am Axel, Number Eight, Flurry Of Dancing Flames! Moohahahaa!"

"I'm Spartacus..." Roxas mumbled.

"And I'm tired of waiting..." Riku grumbled. He seized a vine, curled Roxas close to him, and swung over the snapping jaws of the alligators below.

Axel moved to swing after Riku, but was intercepted by DiZ. Axel shook his head, cackled, and summoned his chakram. DiZ shook his head, chuckled, and brought up his microphone. Riku paled, swore, and dashed into the next room to hide.

"...WHY DO YOU BUIIIILD ME UP? BUUUUUTTERCUP BAAAAABY, JUST TO LET ME DOWN--"

Axel collapsed to the ground under the aural assault, curling onto his side as his hands made a desperate attempt to claw off his own ears. Riku was protected from the worst of the damage by the thick walls, but his heart went out to the victim of such cruel warfare.

"NO! NOT SIXTIES POP KARAOKE!" Axel howled. "MY...ONE...WEAKNESS!"

DiZ halted his solo for a brief moment. "Is that a surrender, Organization pest?"

Axel lunged for his chakram.

"--AND MESS ME AROUND! AND THEN WORST OF ALL--"

--and promptly crumpled into a fetal position. He glared at DiZ painfully, and opened up a dark portal to make his escape.

"...don't...don't think this is over, old man..." Axel gasped. With a last, wild glance in the direction Riku had taken Roxas, he disappeared into the portal.

DiZ gave a triumphant smile, and again seized a vine to swing over the alligator pit. Riku hobbled to his feet, vaguely wondering if he'd ever be able to purge that horrific sound from his memory.

"...why," he managed to croak out. "...did that just happen."

DiZ sniffed lightly and set the microphone into a handy wall microphone holder. "I don't expect the common masses to be capable of appreciating my musical genius. Now, since we're in such a hurry..."

Riku trudged after DiZ and let out a low sigh of relief as they finally stepped into the laboratory. He appreciated the overdone security before this particular evening--after all, it protected Sora, and Riku was quite used to overdoing things when it came to Sora. However, when every extra moment meant another goose egg on this other-Sora's skull...

Roxas was humming to himself; babbling gently about sea-salt ice cream to an improvised tune. Riku felt strangely at ease now that Roxas had reached Sora's mental level, and neglected to beat him unconscious again. DiZ poked at the beepy thing, then entered a bit of data into the spinamabob, then kicked the whackadoo until it whirred pleasantly.

"How scientific," Riku commented, mildly.

"...second verse, same as the first..." Roxas mumbled.

DiZ pretended not to hear him. He gestured for Riku to set the babbling ball of Nobody into the transport beam, and wore an accomplished smile.

"Well?" he inquired when Riku seemed to hesitate. "Toss him in, and I will thank you properly over some ice cream."

"...sea salt...kind of like a key malt...except with more salt..." crooned Roxas, softly.

DiZ gasped. "My security system has been uncovered by the Organization!" He raced to a computer panel and began to type furiously. "Quickly, toss him in while I regroup!"

Riku groaned. He glanced down at Roxas; at his half-mast blue eyes and peaceful face. While he didn't feel right about doing this to Roxas, this other-Sora...it did mean that his Sora would awaken. And Riku at least knew how to deal with Sora-brand stupidity.

"Sleep," commanded Riku.

"Okay," murmured Roxas, and did so.

Riku set him in the transporter gently, careful not to jostle his already-bonked-about head. DiZ crossed his arms behind his back and laughed, triumphant.

"I'd like to see them breach that," DiZ said.

Riku peered over his shoulder. "...you just put in a hyphen between 'sea' and 'salt.'"

DiZ seemed to be utterly in awe of his own genius. "Yes, indeed."

Riku shuddered briefly and gave Roxas' shoulder a squeeze.

"...wake up soon, Sora."


I started my actual summer job last Thursday. It's glamourous! It's exciting! It's more janitorial work! Though it's at a primary school this time, which means that it's also in a smaller building. This is good. I also have an mp3 player to while away the hours, which is by and large good but DAMN do I get tired of the music on it after a while. It's a cheap one, so there's only 128M of space on it. X3 I also need to get some more books to read during breaktime--I'm already tearing my way through my nth re-read of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy series, and will soon be out of good reading material. Any recs would be greatly appreciated! ♥

A question: why doesn't Livejournal ever, ever display the correct time? I think that it might be one of Life's Great Mysteries, so I probably won't get an answer.

As stated above, I am bored. So, I will make up my own meme:

Upload the first five songs that come up on your playlist!
Bleed - Anna Nalick
Three Things - Bedlam Boys
Morning Grace - Okazaki Ritsuko
The Unquiet Grave (excerpt) - Cairde na Gael
Blister In The Sun - Violent Femmes

It seems, tonight, that Winamp likes Irish, ballet, and weird pop. Indeed.
Tags: fic, memes, rl babble, series: final fantasy, series: kingdom hearts, song stuff
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